Friday, April 3, 2009

Pearls In Unlikely Places

I've had a rough week.

Life seems to be throwing more stuff at me than I can handle right now and I feel really at a loss...

Relationships, illness, mounds of work, messy rooms, taxes, paperwork etc... On their own, quite manageable but all at once and I am feel really overwhelmed.

Not to mention that I feel like I have allowed things to get to the breaking point. Like the lava boiling within a volcano, just ready to erupt and cause irreparable damage to the beautiful landscape of my life...

I cried today...a real breakdown cry...and it felt good. Funny thing is that it was really hard to open the floodgates. I was so pent up with frustration and anger and hurt that I really was like a dam...barely holding it in...Then the tears came and I think I cried for 4 hours times sobbing with that heart-achy feeling engulfing my whole being and at other times sitting stoically with tears emotion attached.

Either way, I needed it.

It felt good.

Anyhow, earlier in the day (while stoically crying) I found a few photos that I didn't know were on my computer.

They were grainy and fuzzy, as most pictures taken on a cell phone are...but I wanted to post them anyways so I made a note of where they were and thought to myself that I needed to think of a story to put with them.


So here I am, several hours later, feeling a lot less tragic (for now) and I have a story...
Weird: Check
Involves Momo and Mango: Check
includes odd "Pearls of Wisdom" gathered from a very unlikely source: Check

So here goes...

Last summer Momo, Mango and I began going to a semi-local Japanese Buddhist Temple to learn special dances Bon odori for the summer Obon Festival. Obon is a very special time in the Japanese Buddhist tradition as it is a time to celebrate and remember our ancestors...generally there is a festival of traditional music, food and dance... Anyhow, The pics I found today were of the Obon last year.. That's Mango on the left with two of his gal-pals taking a break in between dances..

And here's a pic of Momo and Mango (check out Momo's purple locks)! At one point in the festival there was an announcer on a loud speaker who said "A kid with purple hair just walked by I have seen everything". It was very funny...


Mango decided to rent Karate kid II tonight (the one where they go to Japan and participate in an Obon festival) and as I cozied up on the couch to watch it with him, I began to feel that dreadful feeling come over me again...

But then...

Mr. Miyagi started spewing his words of wisdom and I started to feel some of the heaviness lift off of my chest.

Yes folks, Mr. Miyagi made me feel better.

At one point early in the story when Daniel-san was having a bad day, Miyagi said (in his weirdly broken English):

When feel like life out of focus
always return to basic of life...
No Breathe- No Life

I rewound it like 2 times just to hear Miyagi say those words again then Mango was like:

Mom...WTF...who talks like that? My [Japanese] grandmas don't even sound that weird...OMG are you writing down what he said? are so weird mom...

Despite Mango total loss of respect for me over my frantic attempt to capture the words of Mr. Miyagi, I took a breathe and remembered how much I need to practice mindfulness in my own life.

In that moment I realized that for the last several days...I have hardly been breathing...both figuratively as my mind, heart and body have been so clouded and heavy and literally as I am having a gnarly case of springtime induced asthma.

Either way, I took note that I need (and want) to go back to the basics of life. Man do I need that right now...

Then, just as I had processed the profoundness of Miyagi's words he went and said:

Never put passion before principle...even if win, you lose

WHOA...that hit me like a brick... I can't share why, becasue I am not entirely sure how to put it into words...but, boy oh boy, did that feel profound to me...

So I sit here, mindful and breathing, getting ready to stretch and get in tune with my body and I must say...

thanks for listening, and...

Domo arigato gosaimasu, Miyagi sensei...


  1. I hope whatever you are going through/ dealing with works itself out! SMILE!

    Oh, and I dig the purple hair! My older sis once had a rainbow head courtesy of kool-aid

  2. I hope you find peace with your challenge, dear girl. Life is tough at times, but remember that the challenges make us strong. It is work toward who we are meant to be. :)

  3. Hope you are feeling a little better and stronger today...

    Take care!

  4. Oh my fellow Roxane! I'm so glad Mr. Miyagi could enlighten you :) I always feel most inspired at the most random times, sometimes it's hockey games, sometimes its the Karate kid! Mr. H is a yoga instructor and he is ALWAYS ragging on me for not being "present, in the moment" and not breathing enough...

    But I live and die by this Buddhist quote "A lamp does not flicker in a place where no wind blows" In other words, if you can try to feel calm inside yourself, you'll be able to deal with anything, even taxes ;)

  5. Glad you are feeling better and that Mr. Miagi helped you!

  6. loved the photos and the story... and with it all.. keep your head up... it will and does get better!

  7. We all need a little Mr. Miagi every now and then. It seems as if "it" (whatever "it" is) is going around and we're all feeling the weight of whatever "it" is. It's a heavy burden, and I'm so happy that you've found a senei (even through DVD). Hugs to you and your family.


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