Sweet 16

Last night we attended the end of the season water polo banquet where Mango received the Boys Varsity Water Polo - Warrior Award.

It is a huge honor as it is the coaches favorite award and reflects the character, commitment and courage of the awardee.

Mango's coach teared up as he gave the award to Mango...he told him that he was proud of him and though he has faced much adversity (being an openly gay high school water polo player) Mango has shown true character and fearlessness...It was cool.So, that was last night...and tonight we are celebrating Mango's Sweet Sixteen!

I cant believe it!

Mango is 16...Dear Gawd....

In case you were worried, he WON'T be driving any time soon.

Oh no...NOT ANY TIME SOON!

The Great Straight Alliance

This is going to crack you up...

Mango participates in just about every club he can possibly manage in his schedule and at the high school football game this past Friday he had to work at 3 different booths doing fundraising. I am still not sure how he managed to be at all three booths at the same time, but the social butterfly that he is... He managed.He managed.

Anyways...Mango has been working really hard with a few other students at his school to form a GSA club. They have been meeting and organizing and finally, at the football game, they began fundraising.

Mango was at the GSA booth selling rainbow cupcakes and pride-filled brownies when one of his waterpolo teammates mother walked by. She stopped and said hi to Mango and proceeded to ask him what GSA stood for. Mango, without flinching (because he is out and proud, remember) said that GSA stood for Gay Straight Alliance.
Mango told me she paused for a moment and the old man next to her seemed to freeze.

Mango says it felt tense for a moment then his teammates mother asked again "what was that Mango?". Mango pridefully told her again that GSA meant Gay Straight Alliance to which Mango said, she puffed up a bit and replied

"Oh wonderful mango! The GREAT STRAIGHT ALLIANCE!"

OH NO SHE DI'INT!!!!!

Oh yes she did!

She thought (or hoped) that GSA, the new very active club on campus, was the Great Straight Alliance. This wasn't much of a surprise to me (actually I am surprised that she didn't get mad) because despite living on the coast in California in what appears to be a little slice of heaven with a side of hippie surfer...our town is regrettably conservative (and intolerant).

We have a fundamentalist church in town that is trying to take over and the masses are buying the message (which is wrought with intolerance and contradiction).

Anyhow, Mango told me that he and his friends were stumped by the woman's stupidity. She was happy to support the Great Straight Alliance by buying one of their rainbow cupcakes and as she walked away one of the girls whispered "yeah, that's right...bitch better buy a cupcake"

Which I think was the perfect response.

NABLOPO-NO!

I failed!

AGAIN!

I was so busy yesterday and forgot to post something!!! I actually talked about the fact that I needed to post something, but we were visiting my parents and I just plain didn't have time!

I am so peeved at myself but I am going to try my best to keep posting...

Please let me know if there is anyone out there who will even read my posts!

I try to keep it random and fun...just like these cucumber and salty plum (ume) sushi rolls.

Charlie and R. Kelly

Here is a pic of our puppy Charlie with his "uncle" Milo a.k.a. R. Kelly.

Please take a second to read about how R. Kelly got his nickname (and it wasn't for his good voice!)

Duggar Food

Do any of you watch the Duggars?

You know, the family with like 19 kids...

Well, I don't watch the show that often, but I have seen it often enough to know that Michelle Duggar (the mom) loves her some casserole.

The scariest thing I have seen her make is "Tater-tot casserole". And it is wrong folks...on so many levels it is WRONG! I, myself, am not a big fan of casserole and Momo detests the stuff (she calls it "Duggar food") so I can just not fathom...

ANYWAYS, Mango and HWMNBN do enjoy the occasional casserole. I attribute this to the fact that my father-in-law is from Kentucky and hence there must be some kind of casserole eating gene being passed down to the men in the family.

I somehow got the I want to be a Duggar (minus the religious fervor) gene...really I did! I think it would be cool to walk around in a prairie dress all day while caring for my 19 children in a huge house in the middle of nowhere, I'm serious...I could see me doing that. I want to hang out with Michelle Duggar and teach our kids how to sew clothes and play the banjo or something. I'm not kidding! Either way, I think this thought makes HWMNBN want to vomit more than casserole makes me want to vomit...but I digress.

Since Momo and I are going over to my mom's for dinner, I made some lovely Duggar food for my boys (in the form of a lovely tuna casserole). I hope Mango and HWMNBN enjoy it because I don't want ANY leftovers!

F'ing Piece of....

Do you have one of these? I know we do!

In The Oven

It's official, I have one in the oven!

I really didn't think it would happen again.

After all, I have been working so hard at losing weight and getting back into those skinny jeans of mine.

I am very excited though, and I think the family is too...

Even thought they didn't really want it to happen, they have always seemed to love the end product, you know?

I mean...who wouldn't love something so beautifully crafted, something we can all share and love and savor.

Yes, I will savor it, forever and for always...or at least til it gives me heartburn and saddle bags and..and..

Oh god!.

Should I even have it?

Is it worth it?

I have been so happy lately, and I like wearing my skinny jeans...

Oh dear...maybe I shoudl just give it to one of the neighbors when it is done...They might like it...maybe they'll even love it.

Help, bloggy world...tell me what to do!

I really want to eat the pizza in the oven, but I'm not sure if the lovely pesto sauce and sun dried tomatoes, and feta cheese are worth it.

What is a girl to do?

I Can't Handle This

My daughter showed this to me the other day and I seriously can't handle it...

I keep hearing this song in my head and I can't stop picturing this kids(?) face.

It's too much for me, but I love it... see if you feel the same way.

Celebrity

The founder of NABLOPOMO asked Momo if she could babysit her kid tomorrow. (She can't, cause we are previously committed) but I had to tell you because:

1. I'm participating in NAPLOPOMO and have to post something every day this month

and

2. This is the closest thing to a celebrity sighting we have had since we saw Jay Leno and William H. Macy at our wedding. (Eden, you've got some serious celeb status in the month of November and my kid still wants to babysit your kid, next time for sure!)

The Truth About Charles Darwin

I haven't told you the whole story about our puppy Charles "Charlie" Darwin.

It's a pretty captivating story...

A mad dash to a kill shelter
A stray dog snipping at Momo
A shady deal made behind a van
The insatiable neediness of a one and a half pound pup
The first sweet visit to the vet and the second one that was tragic...
The sleepless nights and the paralysis that seemed to be spreading

All this in a matter of 2 weeks.

I'd love to tell you the story but I REALLY busy today, so I'll have to leave you hanging...

Hope you don't mind!

As Promised: Part 1

In my last post, I promised to tell you all how I handled the anal sex question from Momo .

So here goes.

Somehow, the topic of anal sex came up while we were all driving down the 405 freeway in Los Angeles. Those of you who read my blog regularly know that my kids ask LOTS of questions and there really is no subject that is taboo in our house.

If they have a question, we try to answer it in the most age appropriate way (and if we can't, we try to find someone who can...most of the time).

Anyways, on our ride through LA, Mango (for whatever reason) reported that he thought anal sex was gross, to which I replied that he might have a change of heart as he got older. My rationale being that considering he is gay, it might be one of the ways he is intimate with a partner. He wasn't super convinced, and I chalked that up to the fact that
1. he's not there yet
2. society has told him it's gross so he believes that.
Whatever...In time, he'll figure it out for himself.

Momo, on the other hand, got a kick out of the discussion and how it was making Mango squirm. She's the rebel rouser around here.
She proceeded to giggle and tell Mango that he WAS going to have anal sex when he got older to which he said "shut up Momo".

Then out of the blue Momo says, "Mom, how do people actually have anal sex? I mean, do they like spread their cheeks and rub their buttholes together?"

Needless to say, HWMNBN and I busted out laughing and Mango in his most exasperated voice said "Oh my god, Momo...you are weird" .

It was classic and she was TOTALLY serious.

After I pulled myself together and focused my attention back to the crazy traffic I was navigating, I realized that I was stumped. Despite wanting Momo to be informed and have the right information running around in her brain, I also loved that my little girl was still, well...a little girl.

Honestly, I felt relieved that were things that she still didn't know despite living in this sex saturated society... and I liked that.

I could have told her the truth and answered her question but something in me made me shrug and say, "Momo you crack me up."

She dropped it and seemed content that I wasn't going to give her any more details. The subject eventually changed and we giggled about other things as we drove home. Poor Momo was none the wiser.

I sometimes wonder if I should tell her the truth. I have the opportunity every once in a while, when she will bring it up again by saying something like, "I just don't understand why people would want to rub their buttholes together".

And after I get up off the floor from laughing my guts out, I think about how much I cherish the bits of innocence that still remain in my kids...

and this my bloggy friends, makes me laugh and smile and keep my mouth shut.

The Kid is a Fruit

As you know, my kids are "nicknamed" after fruit.

One of my very first posts was about how Momo got her nickname. She carried this nickname since she was little then a few months into my blog it became her only name I used when writing. You see, Momo was a little p.o.'d that I was using her and Mango's "real names" so I had to rethink what I would call them while blogging.Momo was an easy transition for me as I often did call the kid "Momo". Mango, on the other hand, was a bit trickier. For several years, we jokingly called Mango, "Coconut".. .since his head (and hair) looked like a little round coconut. Actually, my hubby HWMNBN used to joke and ask Mango if he wanted to go to the grocery store to visit his cousins in the produce aisle...we're cruel like that.

Anyhow, over time we began to notice that Mango was a little different than the other kids...it wasn't just that he had a head that looked like a coconut, but rather, it was that he was really into showtunes, wearing long flowy wigs on Halloween and would rather act as my personal stylist at Nordstroms than go through a football with HWMNBN.

We recalled an "old" SNL skit of a character named "Mango"
And a new nickname was born.

You see, mango is a type of fruit, and "Mango" IS a fruit...

We've known for years (or at least suspected) that Mango was gay and when he finally came out 4 years ago (at the ripe age of 12), I wanted to throw him a party.

I'm like Kathy Griffin that way...I just love the gays. The whole point of this post is not to out Mango (though he gave me permission to out him on my blog as he's pretty much out in every realm anyway) but rather to say that I am so happy that Mango is my son and not someone else's.

There are so many reasons for this, but a big part is that in our house, his gayness is just one more great thing about him. He is great, cute and gay and we love him.His sexuality will never be an issue, he never has to feel bad or unsure about who is. He can talk about crushes, bring home his boyfriends and paint his nails with Momo. He knows we have his back and that when he grows up, he is going to have the most fabulously gay wedding and we will help him figure out how he can have kids.

Mango is a lucky kid I think...there are a lot out there whose parents aren't like us. We have met them and it breaks my heart.

But before I get too sad, I have to send you off with a little promise. 1. I promise to let you all know how I handled the anal sex question from Momo and 2. I have to tell you how Mango came out...it was FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!

As Told By Mango

I just ran across some photos which were taken last year right after Mango had his wisdom teeth pulled.

I did not feel very well today, so Mango (via his post op pictures) is going to help demonstrate what I was going through.

I woke about 20 minutes late this morning and though I was feeling a bit sluggish, I could see the sun coming up, the house was cozy and Charlie (the puppy) was snoring so I was sure I could get a nice shower without interruptions...It appeared to be a good day.
I got through the shower and as I rushed through my morning routine I noticed that I was feeling a bit dizzy.
Despite the ickyness, I drove to work, handed Charlie over to Grandma for the day, drank some tea and tried to get though my morning meeting and a couple of clients. The whole time I felt a bit like I was drunk (I had some serious vertigo accompanied by some nausea).

By the time 11 a.m. rolled around, the nurse who works across from me asked if I was okay "because I was looking a little green". Ughhhh. Luckily my 3rd client of the day was someone I have been seeing for a while so I checked in with him and told him we would have to reschedule. At this point, I hightailed it out of my office.

I don't remember much about the drive home but once I got here, I passed out on the very same couch Mango can be seen on in these pics...and I probably looked just like this...

Then this...

And eventually, after a nice long rest... I was feeling a bit better.
I'm not sure what was ailing me, and I still feel a little icky BUT I have a WHOLE bunch of work to get done before tomorrow so cross your fingers for me that I keep on, keepin' on.

BTW: If you ever see Mango around, please don't tell him about this post. He might disown me.

Happy Halloween

Woke up at 6am this morning thanks to my little nightmare, Charlie.Being that he looks like a stuffed animal and acts like a baby, for Halloween Charlie is planning to dress up as a real dog...

As for the weirdos, Mango is going as a hippie (pics to come) and Momo is going on her 3rd costume. First, she was Robin hood (for school), then she was Bellatrix Lestrange ( for a Harry Potter party), and tonight I think she is going to be Tonks (from Harry Potter) OR a Gold Digger (yes, you heard right).

She ain't nothing but a gold digger, she ain't messing with no broke, broke...

Anyways, I will let you all know what she chooses. For now, I only have a pic of her in the Bellatrix costume. Here she is with her friend who is dressed as Harry Potter.


I think Momo's costume came out pretty good though I think she looks more like me in high school than Bellatrix Lestrange. That's my prom dress after all...
We love Halloween around here, or for that matter, any excuse to get into costume.

So on that note, I hope you all dress up and I want to wish you all a Happy Halloween from my weirdo family to yours!
p.s. Momo carved the "Hello Kitty" pumpkin...I think it looks pretty cool don't you?

Seriously folks...

I am back.

I promise.

I am planning to participate in NABLOPOMO starting in two days, and with that I am committing to post on my blog EVERY day of the month of November.

I miss blogging, and think about it all the time...especially when we are driving down the 405 freeway, in the midst of L.A. traffic and Momo asks me things like:

"Mom, how do people have anal sex? I mean, do they like spread their cheeks and rub their buttholes together?"

Yeah, that's my life...and I am gonna share it with you!

Are you up for it?

Sesame Gaga

When I was little, my mom got a lot of inspiration from Sesame Street.

She took me to the beach and let me feast like cookie monster.She dressed me like Ernie (ala Ernie and Bert) and stuck me in a box like Oscar the Grouch.
And as I got older, she let me express myself in my "death rock" garb in homage to The Count (that's me in the lower left...don't laugh!)
Anyways, my weirdo's have their own sources of inspiration that influence their actions and attire.

You see, they Vogue like Madonna.
And, mad dog like Billy the Kid and Annie OakleyMango, of course, is an aspiring Abercrombie Model and we all know that Momo is a total rockstarI mean, just the other day she dressed as Lady Gaga for school...
And she totally rocked the look.

Vegan Mama

HELLOOOOO OUT THERE!!!!
It's been so long my friends! I have been up to my neck in grading, teaching, team-momming etc... I have missed my bloggie universe and my friends!I have so much to tell you, but I have to go to work right now (I am procrastinating, big time).
Things I want to blog about in the next few weeks:
1. I became Vegan about 2 and a half months ago...you gotta hear about it...really
2. Momo is turning 13 in a week YIKES!3. I think I want to drop out of society and live on a hippie commune...(delusions from no meat?)
4. My kids are weirdo's and there are lots of weirdo stories to share .

So much to say, so little time.

I will be back SOON...I PROMISE!

Gotta run!

Abercrombie Model

Mango wants to be an Abercrombie model...
Tell him he has pretty eyes and his response will be:
I know...

Tell him he has an awesome tan and his response will be:
It's natural

Tell him he has a great body and his response will be:
Yeah...I work outI'm telling you, the kid is vain...

His self proclaimed nickname is:
The Hotness

Good thing we can now add one more title to sir Hotness...

He ia a total Gleek !

So...Happy New Year from Sir Hotness the Gleek and the rest of us weirdos!