Celebrity

The founder of NABLOPOMO asked Momo if she could babysit her kid tomorrow. (She can't, cause we are previously committed) but I had to tell you because:

1. I'm participating in NAPLOPOMO and have to post something every day this month

and

2. This is the closest thing to a celebrity sighting we have had since we saw Jay Leno and William H. Macy at our wedding. (Eden, you've got some serious celeb status in the month of November and my kid still wants to babysit your kid, next time for sure!)

The Truth About Charles Darwin

I haven't told you the whole story about our puppy Charles "Charlie" Darwin.

It's a pretty captivating story...

A mad dash to a kill shelter
A stray dog snipping at Momo
A shady deal made behind a van
The insatiable neediness of a one and a half pound pup
The first sweet visit to the vet and the second one that was tragic...
The sleepless nights and the paralysis that seemed to be spreading

All this in a matter of 2 weeks.

I'd love to tell you the story but I REALLY busy today, so I'll have to leave you hanging...

Hope you don't mind!

As Promised: Part 1

In my last post, I promised to tell you all how I handled the anal sex question from Momo .

So here goes.

Somehow, the topic of anal sex came up while we were all driving down the 405 freeway in Los Angeles. Those of you who read my blog regularly know that my kids ask LOTS of questions and there really is no subject that is taboo in our house.

If they have a question, we try to answer it in the most age appropriate way (and if we can't, we try to find someone who can...most of the time).

Anyways, on our ride through LA, Mango (for whatever reason) reported that he thought anal sex was gross, to which I replied that he might have a change of heart as he got older. My rationale being that considering he is gay, it might be one of the ways he is intimate with a partner. He wasn't super convinced, and I chalked that up to the fact that
1. he's not there yet
2. society has told him it's gross so he believes that.
Whatever...In time, he'll figure it out for himself.

Momo, on the other hand, got a kick out of the discussion and how it was making Mango squirm. She's the rebel rouser around here.
She proceeded to giggle and tell Mango that he WAS going to have anal sex when he got older to which he said "shut up Momo".

Then out of the blue Momo says, "Mom, how do people actually have anal sex? I mean, do they like spread their cheeks and rub their buttholes together?"

Needless to say, HWMNBN and I busted out laughing and Mango in his most exasperated voice said "Oh my god, Momo...you are weird" .

It was classic and she was TOTALLY serious.

After I pulled myself together and focused my attention back to the crazy traffic I was navigating, I realized that I was stumped. Despite wanting Momo to be informed and have the right information running around in her brain, I also loved that my little girl was still, well...a little girl.

Honestly, I felt relieved that were things that she still didn't know despite living in this sex saturated society... and I liked that.

I could have told her the truth and answered her question but something in me made me shrug and say, "Momo you crack me up."

She dropped it and seemed content that I wasn't going to give her any more details. The subject eventually changed and we giggled about other things as we drove home. Poor Momo was none the wiser.

I sometimes wonder if I should tell her the truth. I have the opportunity every once in a while, when she will bring it up again by saying something like, "I just don't understand why people would want to rub their buttholes together".

And after I get up off the floor from laughing my guts out, I think about how much I cherish the bits of innocence that still remain in my kids...

and this my bloggy friends, makes me laugh and smile and keep my mouth shut.

The Kid is a Fruit

As you know, my kids are "nicknamed" after fruit.

One of my very first posts was about how Momo got her nickname. She carried this nickname since she was little then a few months into my blog it became her only name I used when writing. You see, Momo was a little p.o.'d that I was using her and Mango's "real names" so I had to rethink what I would call them while blogging.Momo was an easy transition for me as I often did call the kid "Momo". Mango, on the other hand, was a bit trickier. For several years, we jokingly called Mango, "Coconut".. .since his head (and hair) looked like a little round coconut. Actually, my hubby HWMNBN used to joke and ask Mango if he wanted to go to the grocery store to visit his cousins in the produce aisle...we're cruel like that.

Anyhow, over time we began to notice that Mango was a little different than the other kids...it wasn't just that he had a head that looked like a coconut, but rather, it was that he was really into showtunes, wearing long flowy wigs on Halloween and would rather act as my personal stylist at Nordstroms than go through a football with HWMNBN.

We recalled an "old" SNL skit of a character named "Mango"
And a new nickname was born.

You see, mango is a type of fruit, and "Mango" IS a fruit...

We've known for years (or at least suspected) that Mango was gay and when he finally came out 4 years ago (at the ripe age of 12), I wanted to throw him a party.

I'm like Kathy Griffin that way...I just love the gays. The whole point of this post is not to out Mango (though he gave me permission to out him on my blog as he's pretty much out in every realm anyway) but rather to say that I am so happy that Mango is my son and not someone else's.

There are so many reasons for this, but a big part is that in our house, his gayness is just one more great thing about him. He is great, cute and gay and we love him.His sexuality will never be an issue, he never has to feel bad or unsure about who is. He can talk about crushes, bring home his boyfriends and paint his nails with Momo. He knows we have his back and that when he grows up, he is going to have the most fabulously gay wedding and we will help him figure out how he can have kids.

Mango is a lucky kid I think...there are a lot out there whose parents aren't like us. We have met them and it breaks my heart.

But before I get too sad, I have to send you off with a little promise. 1. I promise to let you all know how I handled the anal sex question from Momo and 2. I have to tell you how Mango came out...it was FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!

As Told By Mango

I just ran across some photos which were taken last year right after Mango had his wisdom teeth pulled.

I did not feel very well today, so Mango (via his post op pictures) is going to help demonstrate what I was going through.

I woke about 20 minutes late this morning and though I was feeling a bit sluggish, I could see the sun coming up, the house was cozy and Charlie (the puppy) was snoring so I was sure I could get a nice shower without interruptions...It appeared to be a good day.
I got through the shower and as I rushed through my morning routine I noticed that I was feeling a bit dizzy.
Despite the ickyness, I drove to work, handed Charlie over to Grandma for the day, drank some tea and tried to get though my morning meeting and a couple of clients. The whole time I felt a bit like I was drunk (I had some serious vertigo accompanied by some nausea).

By the time 11 a.m. rolled around, the nurse who works across from me asked if I was okay "because I was looking a little green". Ughhhh. Luckily my 3rd client of the day was someone I have been seeing for a while so I checked in with him and told him we would have to reschedule. At this point, I hightailed it out of my office.

I don't remember much about the drive home but once I got here, I passed out on the very same couch Mango can be seen on in these pics...and I probably looked just like this...

Then this...

And eventually, after a nice long rest... I was feeling a bit better.
I'm not sure what was ailing me, and I still feel a little icky BUT I have a WHOLE bunch of work to get done before tomorrow so cross your fingers for me that I keep on, keepin' on.

BTW: If you ever see Mango around, please don't tell him about this post. He might disown me.

Happy Halloween

Woke up at 6am this morning thanks to my little nightmare, Charlie.Being that he looks like a stuffed animal and acts like a baby, for Halloween Charlie is planning to dress up as a real dog...

As for the weirdos, Mango is going as a hippie (pics to come) and Momo is going on her 3rd costume. First, she was Robin hood (for school), then she was Bellatrix Lestrange ( for a Harry Potter party), and tonight I think she is going to be Tonks (from Harry Potter) OR a Gold Digger (yes, you heard right).

She ain't nothing but a gold digger, she ain't messing with no broke, broke...

Anyways, I will let you all know what she chooses. For now, I only have a pic of her in the Bellatrix costume. Here she is with her friend who is dressed as Harry Potter.


I think Momo's costume came out pretty good though I think she looks more like me in high school than Bellatrix Lestrange. That's my prom dress after all...
We love Halloween around here, or for that matter, any excuse to get into costume.

So on that note, I hope you all dress up and I want to wish you all a Happy Halloween from my weirdo family to yours!
p.s. Momo carved the "Hello Kitty" pumpkin...I think it looks pretty cool don't you?

Seriously folks...

I am back.

I promise.

I am planning to participate in NABLOPOMO starting in two days, and with that I am committing to post on my blog EVERY day of the month of November.

I miss blogging, and think about it all the time...especially when we are driving down the 405 freeway, in the midst of L.A. traffic and Momo asks me things like:

"Mom, how do people have anal sex? I mean, do they like spread their cheeks and rub their buttholes together?"

Yeah, that's my life...and I am gonna share it with you!

Are you up for it?